Satirical

Libra's Charm
A small speck of dirt on my floor
is worse to me than brutal war.
Gritty grime and nauseous noises;
ruin Perfectly prime Poises!






A Parody Mocking Twilight Fans
Once upon a sullen silence, I sighed, I sighed about the Cullens.
Crazy, dreamy, drowsy fans, oh how it made me sore;
Muscular, masculine vampire men with shiny skin gave me chagrin.
Their paleness, ageless, alter less lives gave me such a bore.
Guys abhor this whole love lore, “where’s Harry Potter?” I implore.
This Twilight book girls opt for.

Meyer’s tale is mildly cheesy; Edward makes it look easy.
Edward sinuously stalked our dear Miss Swan, which many girls adore.
When suddenly there came a tapping, tapping on the tall window;
Our happy Edward leapt right in, in black Goth clothes galore.
His ominous outlook, his empty stare; he needs a councilor.
Only this and nothing more.

Since when did vampires sparkle in sunlight, now why are werewolves so cute and cuddly?
These addling attempts of harrowing humor make my head too sore.
Rabid fans now buy icepacks, and glitter, and Volvos, old trucks, furry jackets and such.
Meyer’s has made gobs of money from movies, my mother, and more!
Please stop these callous and crazy cults of women I implore,
No Twilight anymore!

Once you're put together we'll talk,
I'll watch your details like a hawk.
Oh, us early birds get the worm,
if you're late, you'll make me squirm!

Foul bluntness never held my charm,
radicals just cause all alarm...
Life should be like a golden scale,
Beautiful balance never fails!